We have a set of norms for dressing up in India. Although it has changed over the years in major cities and towns but still the mentality of most individuals is not liberated when married women decides to deck up in western formal/ casual (am not talking about jeans here) attire.
As I reside on a foreign land instead of India, the first instance people talk about is - "Oh nice, you have the freedom."
And I am like, "Dude, I had freedom even in India. I have been not different in dressing up whether it was my mom's house or my in-laws."
Not that they accepted everything at one go but its how you handle the situation at your end. Back in India, even I was scared to death the first time to go from my bedroom to the front door which is like five steps away as somebody might just notice me. I had worn black colour skin tight leggings that reached just until the knees.
My mother-in-law, a sweet soul but scared to hell to rebel in life said, "Beta, go slowly outside in such a way that papa does not see you."
I lost my father at an age when I hardly understood difference between boys and girls. With only one elder brother who was never a bossy, over-protective one but kept quite only to himself, it was new for me to be under a surveillance of a father-in-law. It had already been a couple of months that I got married but the interaction was minimal and more or less everyone was trying to present their best side, including me. I turned and looked at my hubby with an inquiring look.
Liberal in thoughts and a rule breaker himself, my husband's instant reaction was, "What? Don't look at me like that! You look fabulous in this. He won't mind it, don't worry."
He knew that I had been a rebellion all my life and he would fight it out if things went out of control. I felt super silly in being discussed for wearing normal knee length pants to go out on a date with my own husband. I opted to cover the transparent top with an opaque black shrug but failed to think of any other pant that would go with the rest of the attire. After a 10 minute light touch up, I peeped in the living room. Papa was sitting on his favourite bench near the window. It was his everyday norm to relax, mull over his thoughts and look at the commotion of everyday life.
I peeped in again and this time in such a way that he saw me. Finally he asked with a quizzical expression, "What happened Tiana?" (Name changed)
He used to treat me as his daughter and used to always call me by my name. I came outside and I looked down. I said, "Papa, actually I and Garry want to go out for dinner so I wanted to wear.... "
Papa looked at me for a flip second and started looking out of the window again. He said spontaneously, "What is there to be scared in that? If my daughter would have worn that, I would have allowed. You are like my daughter only. Go go, enjoy."
Post that, I have never been asked a single question by any single person until now. Having shifted to another country for over a couple of years, I hardly met anyone who would question you on what to wear. In fact, now the rebellion hubby used to get pissed on Indian attire being worn on foreign land as people tend to discriminate you all the more and the glaring colours sometimes make you look like a clown. So except occasions, the sarees and Punjabi suits stacked the extra space in the suitcases which were hardly accessible. Having worn western outfits for half of my entire life, it turned out to be more comfortable for me as an individual to adapt easily and blend in.
So after a good amount of years, I went partying one day and was commented on by someone indirectly as being dressed inappropriately, where as the same person tends to take tips for dolling up her daughter and wants to hang out to shop with me since I have a good dressing sense... "Ahhh! Double stands!" screamed my mind. The idea here is not being criticized, the idea is about, 'Practice what you preach!' Conditioning your mind that an open minded (here it refers to out going and bold dressing) person can never be polytheistic is as good as deciding the fate of a non performing student in school will never be successful.
Years flew in and out, until we moved to another country and then a new reality sinked in. Each and every country, although how close or far, whether they share borders or are far apart, have their own cultures. You can undermine the nature of the community from their attires, not completely of course but to a large extent. Not just India, but many countries and communities over the world have been conservative and there are people who bound by it, carry the same inhibitions. But as they say every class has its 20% cream crowd (performers) and 80% followers, these communities have their 20% rebellions trying to break the barriers as each day passes.
Over the last few years, India has changed in various demographics and now there is a bridge being built amongst the older and next generation through various styles of modern indian dressing attires. You would see a 50 year old lady adorning a cold shoulder top or a dress at weddings while you ofcourse still find young achievers attending meetings in geometrical sarees only to ensure authority and elegance instead of a blazer. Change is inevitable.
